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Katie Roiphe: Two solid years of complaining that no one likes her because she’s a single mom

November 23, 2013

Katie Roiphe can’t shut up about the discrimination, opprobrium, meanness, criticism, hate-piling, etc., that  she supposedly receives as a single mother. She goes on and on here and here and here.

She even published a book last year about how nobody likes her because she’s raising two babies by two different baby daddies.

OK, Katie, the book tour’s over, so you can zip it up and spare us. But noooo–her book just got translated into Dutch, so she’s back with this new round of complaining about how nobody likes her because she’s a single mom:

I was in Amsterdam for probably three hours when I began to see that having children and not being married was not a big deal there. In fact, marriage itself is not a big deal there. I was there to talk about my book In Praise of Messy Lives, which was coming out in Dutch, but what passes in America for a messy life is in Amsterdam just, well, how things go.

The Dutch attitude, which I like, is that marriage is not for everyone; it is a personal choice, an option, a pleasant possibility, but not marrying is not a failure, a great blot on your achievements in life, a critical rite of passage you have missed. Sometimes people get around to getting married, and sometimes they don’t. Several Dutch women in their 40s, with children and rich romantic histories, tell me about marriage, “It just wasn’t something that mattered to me.”


I try to describe to a couple of audiences in Amsterdam the against-the-grainness of someone, especially a woman, who has not married in America. I try to explain how having children outside of marriage is still considered an alternative, and essentially inferior life choice. I mention that an American writer wrote a cover story in the Atlantic on the remarkable and exotic fact that she was in her late 30s and had never married. This sort of blew their minds. Who could possibly care? It seemed like a crazy American thing for marriage to matter so much. To them this obsession, this nagging necessity for weddings, the lack of general acceptance toward other pretty common ways of living, is so foreign, so uniquely American, such a quaint narrowness, that it’s incomprehensible as an actual mode of modern life.

I have an suggestion for Katie: Move to Amsterdam and start writing in Dutch. Then we won’t have to read you saying the same thing over and over again here in America.

Posted by Charlotte Allen

  1. Anon permalink

    Whining about someone else’s writing is not equivalent to an actual contribution to discussion on these topics. This article is a waste of space.

  2. vikingbitch permalink

    Reblogged this on vikingbitch's Blog and commented:
    The only reason why Americans do not like single mothers ( or single parents who are male as well because they are often viewed as pedophiles from what I hear…) is due to…you guessed it. ECONOMICS! That is it really. Americans like to pretend that there is a conscience on this Plantation, a soul, a love your neighbor kind of attitude.

    Yeah fucking right. America is about money.

    Since coming to the blogs, I have noticed that there is a sort of prejudice being tossed about or stereotype, that being “The Entitled American Woman”.

    Really? We get jack shyte here. When you are a two parent family or single parent here in this Plantation, you are truly on your own.

    Here is the deal. I could care less if people do not want to pay more taxes in The States for services. So be it. But then please do not lie and say that marriage is pushed here heavily in The States “for the sake of the children” or “it is what is right” or “marriage is the foundation of health society”. That is bullshit. There is NOTHING healthy about the USA. People want you married here because in their little Kwan peabrains, if you are a single parent, you are a mooch.

    More advance degreed women in the USA do homebased businesses in the States than anywhere else because guess what, there is no state provided childcare in the USA, unless you are totally poor.

    Interestingly, this is a first time in awhile where I live on a street where the majority of the white families have GASP! divorced parents! I live in a primarily white middle class suburb and guess what…no one gives a shyte that I am a single parent!

    Marriage in the USA has become a status symbol. The rich and connected have semi arranged unions and the rich faggots well they do the mail order womb thing so they can have a mommy and a mother to their offspring while they DL it. The rest of us ‘trash’ have to muck it through a shady dating scene infested with porn, disguised trannies, freaks of the week, and prescription pill poppers. Yes there are ‘good ones’ but many of us have suffered damage – tell me how anyone in this trash heap of a Plantation is damaged after all of the jobs have been shipped elsewhere and our social fabric of the USA has been ripped apart.

    Stupid Girl blog is stupid. This bitch or whoever runs this thing needs to pull her fat arce away from her desk in her ivory tower and go out in the ugly world and get a sniff of reality.

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