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Denmark is ruled by the Addams Family

November 25, 2013

Velazquez this ain’t.

Good commentary here:

We begin with Queen Margrethe II, a matriarch who has been painted by [portraitist Thomas] Kluge with all of the graceful femininity of Tubbs from the BBC’s League of Gentlemen. Next to her sits her swollen husband, Henrik, who has been captured with such close attention to detail that you can actually see the meat sweats diffusing through his skin-tight velvet suit. Note also the tumor or possible herpes sore disfiguring Henrik’s upper lip, which Kluge has made sure to render with nearly Rembrandt-like fidelity.

In the lower left-hand corner, Princess Isabelle rocks back and forth on the floor, staring with milk-white eyes into the distance as she purses her black lips and slowly twists her dolly’s head off. To the right, young princes Nikolai and Felix build the metaphorical tower of blood that they must eventually climb to take the Danish throne for their own. But they will not ascend to claim their crimson thrones unchallenged. To get there, they must first defeat Prince Christian, the second heir to the throne, whom Kluge depicts as the 1,000-year-old Satanic dwarf in the center of the painting. But the prince will not easily be killed: he has splintered his soul between seven horcruxes, each of which has been hidden as a sort of Easter egg within Kluge’s masterpiece. Can you find them all?

All cementing my theory that Scandinavians are really strange. Must be the 24-hour winter nights and the gallons of brain-corroding firewater that must be consumed in order to get through them. Also the lutefisk.

H/t: Ace of Spades HQ

Posted by Charlotte Allen

From → Uncategorized

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