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Feminists: Phil Robertson a perv cuz he married Miss Kay when she was 16 and he was 20

January 2, 2014

Yup, Amanda Marcotte and our friends at Jezebel are hopping mad because it was Phil Robertson 1, GLAAD bullies 0, when A&E backed off from its GLAAD-prodded suspension of Duck Dynasty patriarch Robertson for the crimes of: 1) saying he preferred a woman’s vagina to a man’s anus when it came to sexual tastes; and 2) expressing his Christian belief, amply backed by the New Testament, that homosexual acts, along with a range of other extramarital sexual acts, are sinful.

So now what to do, besides excoriate A&E for preferring to reap some profits from its super-hit Duck Dynasty rather than toe the GLAAD line that everyone who dares express a traditional Christian belief about homosexual conduct must be severely punished?

Let’s see now…oh, right! Robertson started courting his wife, Miss Kay, when she was 14 and he was 18–that is, when they both were teen-agers. He was captain of the high school football team, and she was a cheerleader. When I was in high school, the reaction would have been: Oh, isn’t that always the way things always go? The best-looking, most athletic guys always get the cutest girls. Then, two years later, in 1966, the two got married. They’ve been married for, uh, almost 50 years.

But in the world of feminism, that makes Robertson a creepy pervert. Here’s Amanda:

His advice for a happy marriage is to…hang out in high-school parking lots. “You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16. They’ll pick your ducks.” (No, “pick your ducks” is not sexual innuendo—Robertson is talking about cleaning the feathers off of dead birds, a miserable task often left to women to perform.) “You need to check with mom and dad about that of course,” sage Robertson wisely advises, but he does not explain how to convince the parents of teenage girls to let them marry grown men who are tired of cleaning their own dead birds.

Right, because “going to high school” and “hanging out in high-school parking lots” is the same thing. And there’s nothing more demeaning than plucking a fowl’s feather’s before you turn it into duck a l’orange. Imagine asking your wife to cook!

And here’s Lindy West of Jezebel, in a piece weirdly  titled “Phil Robertson, Anus-Obsessed Racist, Also Recommends Child Brides” [because a post-pubescent junior in high school is a “child”]:

Of course, Phil’s “opinion” that the “best” way to “get” a wife that won’t cause you “trouble” is to groom an impressionable teenage girl (which Phil reportedly did with his own wife, whom he started dating when she was 14 and married two years later) won’t likely bother the heads at A&E. After all, who cares about women’s autonomy, the dehumanization of gay people, and the glorification of racism when corporate profits and a white man’s livelihood are threatened!?!?

Yes, Phil “groomed” Miss Kay in the way that Romeo “groomed’ Juliet (who was also 14, by the way, when she made her balcony speech–and then promptly married Romeo).

Here’s a little history for you feminists, since there’s no more core curriculum in college: This was the way things were from time immemorial at least through 1966, when Phil and Kay tied the knot. My paternal grandmother was 16 when she married and had her first child at age 17. My maternal great-grandmother was 15 when she got married. My late father-in-law married his high-school sweetheart a couple of years after graduation–granted, they were in the same class. His older brother also married his high-school sweetheart, a few months after he turned 18 and joined the Navy. Both marriages lasted until a beloved spouse died.

And one of my husband’s high-school classmates got his gorgeous girlfriend pregnant; they were both 17. He wasn’t religious, but he didn’t believe in abortion, so he married her. He supported her by working as a supermarket shelf-stocker while they both finished high school. He bought her their first home on an FDA loan when he was 18. We saw them at their high school’s 50-year reunion this past fall. They were still married. He had worked his way up to regional manager for a major retail chain. She still looked like a fashion model.

Now, of course, girls aren’t deemed mature enough to marry until they’ve accumulated double-digit years of “education,” built “careers,” and dallied for a dozen years in the “hook-up culture.”

Otherwise, they’re “child brides.” And we can’t have that.

Posted by Charlotte Allen

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