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If you don’t like your Mormon college’s sex ban, why not transfer instead of whining to Cosmo?

August 15, 2014

Brigham Young University is keeping sophomore Keli Byers a prisoner on its Utah campus:

When I came to BYU last year, I signed its honor code and promised to live a “chaste life” — students who don’t could get expelled. But my attitude changed after I joined the Young Mormon Feminists, a group that’s not endorsed by the Church or BYU. We talk about how the Church doesn’t see women as equal to men and how BYU is slut-shaming. The school’s honor code forces women to dress modestly — no skirts above the knee — supposedly to help men control their thoughts. The group helped me reclaim my sexuality and realize my sexual assault wasn’t my fault. I’m now in a questioning phase with the Church. I still think the idea of committing to someone for eternity is beautiful, but the Church could use improvement in the way it treats women.


The truth is, I’m not a virgin. I’m a sexual woman and a proud feminist, and I don’t feel bad about it. But it’s hard to admit that, because women at BYU who aren’t virgins are treated as inferiors and that’s not fair.

Horrors! A dress code and a ban on premarital sex at a religiously affiliated college! Next they’ll be banning X-rated movies in the campus auditorium!

As might be expected, Byers’ plight–trapped at Brigham Young!–has drawn the attention of Slate’s Amanda Hess, who, through some pretzel twist of reasoning, concludes that sex bans at religious schools make rape victims feel bad–or something:

While schools like BYU continue to conflate consensual sex with sexual assault in order to shame victims (along with everyone else), Cosmo is smartly taking the opposite route: The magazine is expanding its breezy coverage of the “fun fearless female,” who comes to Cosmo for sex tips galore, to recognize that being a woman who likes sex is still a controversial statement in many corners of America. The fact that Keli Byers—now a proud member of Mormon Young Feminists—was forced to bring her story to Cosmo instead of being heard on campus should bring shame on BYU.

Right–because nothing says “We don’t shame rape victims” like a magazine that says “Best. Sex. Ever.” on its cover.

No shame here!
I have a tip for Keli Byers: If you want to wear a dress like Lucy Hale’s or celebrate Sex O’Clock in a different guy’s dorm room every night, there are thousands of colleges in America where you can do just that. There’s this thing called a transfer.
Posted by Charlotte Allen
One Comment
  1. These issues may seem very important to women but to men they are just more reasons to to have separate colleges for men and women. When you are looking for a wife, your all-male college can arrange dances with women’s colleges in the area.

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