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30-something WashPost editor looks for a “feminist boyfriend” but somehow can’t find one

January 5, 2015

Dating a feminist means getting your marching orders:

He’s a stud–and he’s so sensitive, too!

When it comes to that attraction, a feminist man makes sure — verbally — that his partner is on board, rather than just forging ahead. “Never assume I’d like it there,” as Annie Werner, a 25-year-old who works for Tumblr in New York, says when talking about the importance of sexual consent.

“If you’re a woman who wants a man to grab you and kiss you because that’s what sweeps you off your feet, realistically, a feminist man is not going to do that,” says Rita Goodroe, a 38-year-old life coach in Northern Virginia who works mostly with singles. “He’s going to ask for permission.”

I’d rather have permission than confusion.

A feminist dater or boyfriend (and yes, feminists have boyfriends) is aware of the ways women have traditionally been held back, by others and by our own accord, and actively pushes against that. He’s sensitive to the fact that women’s bodies are frequently judged, abused and legislated, and takes no part in that. He gets it.

Oh, and feminist men aren’t constrained by “gender roles”–except for the gender roles that feminist women create for them.

Posted by Charlotte Allen

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From → Uncategorized

One Comment
  1. How did you miss the line where the guy tells her that her successful career really turns him on before leaning in for a kiss?

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