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Unwed Yahoo Travel editor buys herself fake engagement ring to impress her female friends

January 14, 2015

Guess what: They don’t care about your whoop-de-doo career:

/
Beats having a husband–oh really?

“I bought myself an engagement ring in Tanzania,” I emailed a group of my girlfriends, mainly for effect.

I knew it would give them something to talk about the next time they met up for drinks without me. My girlfriends love to gossip. They’re bitches like that.

They particularly love to gossip about me, the last single woman standing in our group of college friends, the only one who didn’t get married last year.

“Poor Jo! She travels all the time. How is she ever going to find a husband?”

“She should have just married the last guy.”

Maybe I should have, but I didn’t. And so I bought myself an engagement ring at the Four Seasons in the Serengeti during a trip nice enough to be a honeymoon even though it wasn’t.

***

Like I said, it all seems like a dream. And yet, my friends are very concerned I will end up a spinster, and that has left a large black mark on my otherwise remarkable existence.

Maybe you should have just gotten married. It’s better to be divorced than never married.

Are you gay?

There’s nothing wrong with settling.

***

I saw the sun rise over Mount Kilimanjaro this morning while writing this, looking at my ring sparkle as my fingers flew across the keyboard. I’m happy to just be with me for a little bit longer.

Ms. Remarkable has figured out that for a woman, a laundry-list resume of achievements doesn’t confer status, even among her own female friends. Having a husband does. This is why married women flaunt their engagement rings–which could be so much cut glass, as far as they’re concerned, as long as they’re on the finger that says, “I snagged someone.”

But here’s a tip: Unless it’s your late mom’s engagement ring that she wanted you to wear, you look a tad pathetic getting hitched to yourself. If you’re a spinster, go all the way and be a proud spinster.

h/t Dalrock

Posted by Charlotte Allen

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One Comment
  1. Lastango permalink

    We ought to give thanks for this sort of Olympic-level hamstering. It’s wonderful for motivating a young lady to question the koolaid our feministed culture has been serving her.

    FWIW, here’s two more, and much more honest, that are worth a read:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2227880/The-lonely-legacy-Sex-And-The-City-lifestyle-Claudia-Connell-gives-painfully-honest-account-came-living-middle-age.html#ixzz2BMlQTscE

    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/commentary/the-awful-truth-about-being-single/article7536781/

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