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50-year-old woman wonders why 50-year-old men stare at 25-year-old chicks instead of her

March 4, 2015

My latest blog post for the Independent Women’s Forum:Man with two women in bikinis

Blame the patriarchy for the above

My favorite reason for reading the U.K. Guardian: schadenfreude:

“What does it mean to us, as women, to be told that we’re worth less than we used to be? No man I know has ever been told that his powers, his allure, his charm have faded, and that he has to face up to that redundancy. Many women I know in their 50s talk about their invisibility in public places. I’m sure a case could be made for invisibility as a liberating force in a woman’s life, but I am not the woman to make it, not this week at least, when I’ve been dissed or else flatly ignored by all the men I’ve said hello to.

“It’s making me a bit rebellious, I admit. It’s making me want to look 50, and talk about 50, and stand firm with a whole movement of women, rejecting the pressure to try to look 35 for ever, throwing away our foundation garments and hair dye. I get these impulses and then I buy another stupid snake-oil anti-ageing cream.

“It’s true that men don’t see me any more. It’s sobering to walk down the street observing how the 50-year-old men behave, paying attention to what they’re looking at as they stroll along. They are not looking in shop windows. They are not looking at me. They are looking at women half their age.”

Posted by Charlotte Allen

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2 Comments
  1. Lastango permalink

    Great post at IWF… I especially like this bit:

    The poor lady who wrote the above was probably told all her life that biological reality was hopelessly outdated sexist thinking, and that she could live like a young woman forever: cycle through numerous boyfriends, dump her husband if she got bored with him and find a new, more exciting man. She was fed a bowlful of feminist propaganda that she believed with religious fervor. And she still believes it.

    Quite so. Women don’t come to these beliefs independently, and are fed a steady stream of glitzy myths. Once, I read through many articles about “invisibility”, which some believe begins to kick in at about 30 or 35, not 50. The common denominator among the complainants is that they are single. Sure, even married women would like the validation of being noticed, but it’s the spinsters who are staring into a void, and go home to the emptiness. They lack the deep, settled confidence June Cleaver had from her husband and kids. They have failed as women because they do not have a man.

    Only rarely do the women who write about invisibility question their own beliefs about men and marriage. Mostly, they rationalize their situation, gin up silver linings, and blame men.

    The more educated these women are, the more intense their conditioning. Even when they fully recognize the bitter reality of invisibility, they cannot admit Susan Patton was right: once they leave university, they will never again be surrounded by so many eligible young men. I’m reminded of how Rollo responds is when asked where all the appealing men disappeared to: “They’re back in your 20’s, where you left them.”

  2. sestamibi permalink

    Funny that after a certain age (whatever that might be) they actually miss that “male gaze”.

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