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The Eva Mendes sweatpants flap: pilloried for saying wives should look nice for their husbands

April 2, 2015

My latest blog post for the Independent Women’s Forum:

It’s “insensitive” to say that women shouldn’t look like slobs

In fact, Mendes was onto something, actually two things.

First, wives ought to try to look attractive for their husbands, even at home. It’s a way of respecting the fact that your looks were one reason why he married you in the first place (men are very visually oriented when it comes to women), and every man wants to be proud of the way his wife looks. It doesn’t hurt to try to please the man who’s working his tail off to please you. Your husband won’t love you any less if you look like a slob all the time–although maybe he will because your clothing may be telling him that you don’t care enough about him to bother to look nice. The fabulous-looking Mendes could actually get away with a pair of sweatpants. Most women look terrible in them and should reserve them for vacuuming if they wear them at all. Even if you spend your day in bluejeans, you can dress them up a bit with a cute T-shirt and a pair of ballet flats.

Second, there’s the issue of public decorum. Take a look around you the next time you’re out. We’re a nation of slobs these days, women and men. Sweatpants, sweatshirts, baseball caps, dirty sneakers, uncombed hair. That’s where we can learn something from Eva Mendes, who is always dressed, even when she’s looking casual. She has superb, age-appropriate taste. Yes, she’s a movie star who can afford expensive attire. But anyone can afford a nice-looking T-shirt. Americans during the Great Depression strived to look their best. In our age of plenty we ought to take some pride in ourselves and be doing the same.

Posted by Charlotte Allen

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