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Elizabeth Gilbert’s “I’m a Seduction Addict”: Sounds like a fancy way to say, “He never called”

June 26, 2015

My latest blog post for the Independent Women’s Forum:

A remarried Gilbert: Cured of that “addiction” at last

To my mind the sentences that stuck out most prominently in the Eat, Pray, Love author’s latest Oprahfessional in the New York Times were these:

“Seduction was never a casual sport for me; it was more like a heist, adrenalizing and urgent. I would plan the heist for months, scouting out the target, looking for unguarded entries.”

“Soon enough, and sure enough, I might begin to see that man’s gaze toward me change from indifference, to friendship, to open desire.”

and:

“I might indeed win the man eventually. But over time (and it wouldn’t take long), his unquenchable infatuation for me would fade, as his attention returned to everyday matters.”

Um, Elizabeth, there’s an easier way to accomplish this trajectory. Here it is: Go to a bar an hour before closing time. Another way of phrasing “his unquenchable infatuation for me would fade” is: “I’ll call you.”

And if there’s someone specific you’ve got your heart set on to “win,” here’s another tip for making it easier in 99 percent of the cases: Invite him over (or drive over to his house) and be wearing something scanty and lacy when the door opens. See! You don’t need to “plan for months” after all!

Posted by Charlotte Allen

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