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LAT writer becomes the weenie at his own BBQ: caters to every one of friends’ PC food phobias

July 5, 2016

From my latest blog post for the Independent Women’s Forum:

Wife won’t eat the burger, grain-frees won’t eat the bun, paleos won’t eat the chips.

 

My favorite Fourth of July story was this one, by freelance editor Robin Rauzi in the Los Angeles Times: It’s titled “How Vegetarians, Gluten-Frees, Grain-Frees and Other L.A. Food Tribes Ruined My BBQ Tradition.”

A better title: “How to Be the Weenie at Your Own BBQ.”
***

“Anyone who knew my wife and me knew that on Friday night we would be on the patio, grill fired up. Just show up with a side dish.

“There was, however, a hitch with this from the very beginning:
“The very easiest form of cookout — burgers and hot dogs — was off the table from the start. My wife, some years before we met, stopped eating beef. I’ve long abandoned trying to explain her political or social or dietary positions to others, but I think it had something to do with the Ogallala Aquifer.”
OK, Robin, you married her and you love her. But whatever weird thing the Rauzis were grilling that summer—bison patties?—obviously gave their neighbors ideas about what else they could get away with imposing:
“Our friends next door, not surprisingly, very quickly became FNBBQ regulars. Co-hosts, really. But  one of them had narrower meat options: no mammals. So that first summer we grilled a lot of  variations on chicken and turkey sausage, and filled in with salads and slaws.”
Guess the sex of the “one of them” with the “no mammals” rule.
Then the circle expanded to include the first semi-vegetarian.
***
In what I considered a propitiatory gesture, I added salmon to the grill — but the semi-vegetarian  didn’t eat fish, or like it, or something. My wife gave me a look that said ‘What in the world is wrong  with you?’ She then added aloud, ‘There is nothing here for her to eat.’ Apparently my fallback position, that vegetarians should fill up on bread and cheese, was not hospitable.”
At this point, if I were Rauzi, I’d start thinking about getting a different wife.
Posted by Charlotte Allen

 

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