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WaPo columnist can’t be bothered to interview actual Trump-impeachment opponents–so she invents some “truck stop” goober deplorables

September 27, 2019
The Washington Post‘s Alexandra Petri is the Adam Schiff of Trump-impeachment media coverage:

You think you’re going to find support for impeachment, do you? You dare suggest that this presidency is embroiled in chaos? Well, I am at a truck stop right now to wait out an electrical storm, and nobody here agrees.

I’ve been interviewing for what I figure is at least an hour — the clock on the wall is broken — and everyone I speak to still supports the president just as much as they did the day he was elected.

Out here in “truck stop” land, the deplorables are too dumb to know how to fix their clocks.

The old man at the end of the counter shakes his head when I tell him the president is beleaguered by scandal. He’s not tied to his phone, like some of you coastal types. He’s not bound even to the latest fashion. I notice he’s wearing an old wide-brimmed hat and rimless spectacles, the kind I haven’t seen outside of movies. He says he’s still with the president, and that he doesn’t pay attention to the daily buzz of news. He has priorities like many real Americans have.

They’re so old they’re gonna die soon anyway.

I try to say something about the impeachment, but no one can hear me over the noise of the soybeans, growing healthy and strong. I have never heard a soybean so loud before. Here, we have our priorities straight, straight as the corn growing just outside the window….

The corn and soybeans don’t care about what the president has been doing on his phone calls to Ukraine. Whenever I try to ask, something rustles against the window, and it’s corn. I think it must be higher than an elephant’s eye now. The corn is pressed right up to the glass. I think the corn wants to get inside.

Soybeans, corn–isn’t that what they grow out here?

Someone tries to mention the phone call to the president of Ukraine, and out of nowhere, pigs in all the neighboring fields begin to screech, horribly, an almost human sound, and they only stop when he gives up mentioning it.

Ha ha! Pigs out in fields! Ms. Petri is quite the swineherd.

There’s a Norman Rockwell painting hung on the wall, and it says it doesn’t think the president has done anything bad. There’s a scarecrow in a pair of dungarees with a big pitchfork. He and his pitchfork both voted for Trump. They will vote for him in the next hundred elections.

Ah, Norman Rockwell, king of middlebrow kitsch. The artist we coastal sophistos can all so comfortably sneer at. I’ve got to say, though, that that’s one lucky truck stop that has a Norman Rockwell original “painting” hung on its walls.

The walls are packed earth and so is the clock and it still hasn’t moved and now there is something crawling in the wall. The wall bursts! There’s an enormous worm here, and I pledge allegiance to it, willingly. I burn my notebook for King Worm!…

We are here in the heart of America! The walls squeeze in and out, like the clenching of an enormous fist!

See? At the Washington Post, the columnists don’t have to move one inch from their computer screens to tell us what it’s like out there with America’s pin-headed farmer class that grows the food. It’s like walls squeezing in and out. It’s like the clenching of an enormous fist.

Posted by Charlotte Allen

From → Uncategorized

One Comment
  1. Bandmeeting permalink

    That whole story is very strange. What is “packed Earth”? What is a packed Earth clock? Is she using poetic license in these descriptions? Corn growing right next to the windows of a truck stop, pigs so close that they interrupt a conversation? Really? Most truck stops are a building surrounded by 5 acres of cement.

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